Meet Robbie the Runt! (and a mini update)

I've been a little busy with freelance stuff because…hey, I need to make money to pay bills too! I've also been interning with Amanda Visell, whose work I absolutely love! I've been learning a lot from her and Michelle Valigura, and they're sorta mentoring me too. They're starting to put some pressure on me to get my DesignerCon stuff done (there might be some resin casting in my future); So I'm starting to stress a little. I haven't really been spending much time drawing and painting lately because of everything that's going on, but I finally had a little bit of time last night to do a bit of drawing. I drew this cute little dude and I'm a little obsessed with him.

I'm so obsessed with him that he's currently my profile pic for a few of my social media accounts. AND he's also available in the shop as a button!

Vegetating

I've been doing some job hunting which has made it really difficult to want to draw anything. I feel like job hunting is like being in limbo; part of you feels really motivated to go to work, but there isn't a job for you to go to yet. It's a lot of time spent looking at job listings and being like "Can I do that?" "Do I want to do that?" Then sending things out and hoping to hear back. I have plenty of things on my to-do list for the print shop, but it's been a challenge to get started.

I have to start thinking about upcoming holidays like Easter and Mother's Day. I'm also waiting for the Designer Con registration to open up. And then there's the bigger things I need to think about like: new products. What new thing am I introducing to the shop this year? What would you like to see in the shop?

On Life, Currently.

Lately, I’ve been making an effort to draw every day. I’ve been trying to establish a good consistent work routine and also develop new work at the same time. I’ve made it a requirement that I post whatever I’ve been working on…no matter how stupid it may be.

In previous weeks, I was just Instagramming whatever I was drawing and have it post to Tumblr, but I found that a lot of those were just quick, thoughtless doodles. I’ve been trying to work on more narrative drawings and also writing about them, so my ideas are actually put to paper and not just floating around aimlessly in my head.

Sometimes I struggle to find a subject to draw, so I end up drawing dumb looking fruits or veggies. So this week, I started trying something different where I just write little stories or scenarios and then draw them. Essentially, that’s what I want to be doing anyways. I want to create visual short stories. It’s the best way to combine the two things I really love: drawing & storytelling.

Song of the Week: "The Kids Were Wrong"- Memoryhouse

I've been listening to a lot of Memoryhouse lately, especially their latest album The Slideshow Effect. There's something very soothing about Denise Nouvion's voice…it's kinda a mix between Tracyanne Campbell of Camera Obscura and Verity Susman of Electrelane. I've been thinking a lot about my career path and just doing the things that I want (and like) to do. I recently completed some freelance work that's allowing me to continue to be self-employed. It was a great experience, but it was even more proof that a day job just isn't for me.

Yesterday, I met up with the ever-lovely Satsuki Shibuya over tea to talk about life and work. We talked about just following our dreams and keep working hard towards it. We also shared what we love most about not having day jobs and what we love about being able to run our own show. She recently started a consultancy service called DREAMCOÖP to help creatives find balance between work & life and just follow their dreams. And I can definitely say, Satsuki is one of the best people to talk to when you're in a rut. Everything about her is very soothing and comforting.

It's been almost a year since I graduated from college and for once, in a long time, I'm starting to feel like myself again. And I feel like I'm getting a lot closer to the life & career I've always wanted.

The Weekly Wind Down: 02.10.13

Stracciatella from Pazzo Gelato

I just finished a little over a week's worth of freelancing for Knock Knock. And now I'm trying to decide what to do with myself. I'm probably going to go back to concentrating on the store and working on new products. Speaking of which, I've opened up a new store! And I'm offering 15% Off all orders from now til the end of the month with code: HELLONEWSHOP. My Etsy shop will continue to stay open. I'm going through a process of restructuring my brands and deciding which products will go where. But what this really means is: there's officially a Becausemaybe shop.

What I learned this week is that just because I haven't been able to land a salary job, that doesn't mean that I'm not talented. I just need to find a good fit. I still prefer the "freelance/self-employed" life over the "day job" life. Although I like driving, I don't like having to drive in over an hour's worth of traffic to get to work and then also taking just as long to get home afterwards. All I could think of this past week is how much I haven't been able to concentrate on my shop. I noticed that when I have time to tend to it, sales just somehow come in. I'm still going to keep doing the job hunt, but I'm not going to desperately apply to random jobs that I don't think I'll even like.

I have a few projects I've been thinking about…mostly zines. I'll finally get a chance to photograph the new notebooks this week and add them to the shop soon. Here they are (shot under bad lighting) before they got their rounded corners. So keep an eye out for that this week!

Other things (and thoughts) that are going on right now are debates about the difference between the Quiet Tiger blog and this blog. I do feel that a lot of the content here tends to be more personal. I'm trying to decide if there's a big enough difference between the two for them to live as two separate blogs or if they should just be consolidated into one blog. That's something I'm going to be tinkering with this week and you'll hear all about it next week. 

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

The Much-Needed Time Off

It's been almost two months since I left my day job and this is the best thing I've done for myself in a long time. I've mostly been spending my time focusing on my Etsy shop and also doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do as a career. I love everything about working for myself. I love the flexibility, the personal space, spending more time with Sebastian, and spending less money on gas. In this time, I've been able to rediscover the things that I love and the things I like doing. I'm drawing a lot more, being quirky & weird…overall, just being me. I realized that although I love graphic design and that's what my degree is in, I don't really want a graphic design job. I use graphic design complement the other things I do like illustration, handmade goods, running an online store…but I don't want to work in an in-house department or a large firm as a graphic designer.

The only thing left to be desired is: stability. I'm doing ok for now, but I know once the holiday season is over I'll have to get a job. I've been considering taking up a part-time job (that doesn't necessarily have to be in design) just so I have some sort of income since I'm planning on moving out early next year. I just want a job where the work stays at work and where I'm not going home angry & frustrated every day. I want to invest more time in growing my business and growing as an artist. I check job boards weekly and they just leave me feeling depressed because there's rarely any available jobs out there that sounds remotely interesting to me. Sometimes I think it's just difficult finding a job that's a good fit for my personality type.

And that's why I love working for myself. What I love most about running an online store (aside from being my own boss) is the happiness that my products bring to my customers. I love it when customers come back to me saying that they've received lots of compliments on the items I've made for them. Or simply that my products make them smile. I love when they comment on how "well-made" something is…Yeah, that was made with my own two hands! It's the most rewarding feeling in the world and I wouldn't give that up for anything.

New Specs!

I went to the optometrist today for my annual eye exam. I know some people don't feel the need to see their optometrist often, but I do. Working in a visual field, I want my eyes to be in their best possible health. Last year, I was told that my eyes were a little on the dry side and that I had a scratched cornea. This year, my eyes are perfectly healthy AND my vision has improved. My optometrist looked over my records for the past 8 years and my vision has for the most part stayed the same. My vision has only fluctuated by 0.25 which he told me was really good because most patients keep going up by 1.0 every year. So I'm super happy to hear that my vision and eye health is great! Also, this year is the first year in a long time where I didn't get contacts. I decided to save some money and give my eyes a break from the contacts. So I really had to pick a pair of frames that I absolutely love. These are the ones I decided on.

Percey in Striped Sassafras from Warby Parker

Happy Birthday Sebastian!

On Sunday, I celebrated Sebastian's 2nd birthday. Two years ago, he was born in my backyard just a day after I had gotten back from visiting my sister in Illinois. He was the only orange one out of a litter of six; the other five being cream kittens. He was named after one of my favorite bands: Belle & Sebastian. He was my first cat ever! Growing up, I always had dogs and never thought I would be a cat person. But now I can definitely say that I'm a total cat person.

I've been wanting to get him a new bed for a while because I felt like he had outgrown his old one. So for his birthday, we got him a cozy little sack. We noticed that he really likes hanging out inside of paper bags and tote bags and under rugs, so we thought this would be the perfect gift for him.

Summer Skin

The weather started to get a lot warmer this week. Sebastian refuses to sleep in his bed. He's been spending more time laying on the bare wood floor. When I migrate to my bed, he steals my leather desk chair from me. I noticed last week that he found a cozy spot on the leather sofa in the living room. When the weather gets warmer, he prefers to sleep on leather because it just feels a lot cooler than his fleecy bed and it's comfier than the floor. I have a horrible feeling that this summer is going to get uncomfortably hot…more so than usual.

Getting Ready for a Long Winter

I have been talking about this for sometime now. That this winter will be my final year of producing knitwear. And that decision still stands. I am both relieved and sadden by this decision, but I feel that it is quite necessary. The time and energy I've been putting into it over the years just isn't worth it anymore. I'm tired of having too much yarn and bins full of finished product occupying every single inch of my very tiny room.  So I've started knitting up all my yarn in preparation for UniqueLA. Even if I don't get in, at least everything will already be made and I can just post it all to Etsy.

So what does that mean for the future? As some of you may know, I've been exploring the realm of laser cut jewelry. And although it has been received quite well so far, I don't see it as being a very permanent thing. It just doesn't really feel like me. I feel like this is just what people expect from me based on their perception of me/becausemaybe/whatever. I've been thinking about going back to my roots in writing and curating. Mostly writing about music and pop culture, with a touch of nostalgia. And that would carry over into the curation and sale of vintage items.

I spent a lot of my summer in self-reflection. I looked back at the early years of becausemaybe and even went as far back as the high school years. I thought about what inspires me and what drives me. I reminisced about old hobbies and old interests. I've been searching deep within myself to find what it is I really love. And what really makes me happy. And I don't know the answer to that anymore. I feel like I've strayed very far from where I started and not so much in a good way. I feel like I got distracted somewhere along the way and lost sight of things. 

Several of my friends have asked me this week about my experience interning at American Apparel so far and if I would ever consider working there. I told them, "If they want to pay me to be there, I would have no objection to that." Sometimes I wonder if this economy has made me desperate, because I know deep down inside the real answer to that question is "No." Sure, the environment is laidback and some of the employees are cool to talk to and hang out with. But the actual job itself, isn't really my thing. They don't really have anything to offer me in terms of what I want out of a job. 

So what do I really want to do? I still want to move to Minneapolis and live out there for a few years. Just be away from things for a while. Spend some alone time. Or maybe that's the problem. Maybe I already spend too much alone time. But at this age, everyone's always too busy: trying to startup their career, getting married, having kids, or just plain trying to graduate. Everyone's always too busy for everyone else. Right when you think you've found people you really connect with, it's already time to say goodbye. 

Life always manages to catch you by surprise. But I don't wait around for life anymore. Because every time I've been patient, life served me some disappointment.